Should I hold my baby during a tantrum?
⚡ Short answer: A toddler thrashing and rejecting being held during a meltdown is very common at 18 months.
Anonymous
18 aylık bebek annesi · Development
When my 18-month-old has a tantrum and pushes me away, should I try to hold her or give her space?
Maiyko AI ADVISOR
The real reply from the in-app AI advisor
A toddler thrashing and rejecting being held during a meltdown is very common at 18 months. At this age, children can't yet regulate their emotions, so physical contact during intense distress can actually overwhelm their nervous system more.
The current pediatric view is this: when your child is thrashing and pushing you away, holding them tightly will just amp them up further. Instead, stay nearby at a safe distance—without eye contact, speaking in a calm, quiet voice with short sentences like "I'm here, this will pass." As the crisis starts to ease (you notice their breathing slowing, thrashing lightening), then you can offer a hug: "Come here if you want a hug." This way you're giving them a choice and respecting their autonomy. Holding them before the peak actually builds on the attachment and calm they need afterward.
Tantrums lasting longer than 20 minutes or involving self-harm need pediatrician attention.
⚕️ Health note: This answer is for general information only; it is not medical advice. Every baby is different — for decisions about your baby's health, consult your pediatrician.
This answer is general — yours can be personal 🐦
In the app, Maiyko AI knows your baby's age and records and gives you a tailored answer. Coming soon to the App Store.