If I can't finish potty training before daycare starts, what do I do?

Potty training not being complete before daycare is a source of concern for many families, and I understand. However, in this situation, what really matters is not whether the training is complete, but whether the child is ready and what the school's policy is.

First, I recommend not forcing your child into potty training before daycare. Forcing creates anxiety and resistance in the child, which can make training longer and harder. Signs of readiness include staying dry for at least 1.5-2 hours, telling or showing you when they've soiled their diaper, and showing interest in the toilet.

The most important thing you can do is clarify this with your chosen daycare before starting. Many daycares consider it enough that the child is in training and will support the process at school. Some schools may even accept starting training under teacher guidance. Simply ask the school, "Can we start with diapers? How do you approach potty training while the child is adjusting?"

Second, talk to your child about this transition. Tell them in a calm way that they'll be starting daycare, that they can tell their needs at school, ask for help, and that accidents are totally normal.

If your child shows no signs of readiness, you could postpone daycare start by a few weeks or start with diapers and focus on training after they've adjusted to school. Waiting another 2-3 months has no developmental downside. The pediatric view is that respecting the child's own pace leads to more success in the long run.