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Your child throws themselves down when upset: managing tantrums

⚡ Short answer: Stay calm during a tantrum, stick to a short 'no,' don't give in, and don't shame them — their logic is offline right now; if breath-holding happens, check with your doctor.

Anonymous

20 aylık bebek annesi · Development

When my child doesn't get what they want, they throw themselves on the ground and cry — we're embarrassed in public. What should I do during a tantrum, and what shouldn't I do?

Maiyko AI ADVISOR

The real reply from the in-app AI advisor

This age (you didn't mention it, but it sounds like a toddler — probably 12-24 months) throwing themselves down and crying when they can't have something is a completely normal part of development. Their brain's emotion-regulation center isn't mature yet, so this is their only outlet.

During the tantrum:

  • Stay calm; your steady voice and tone help them feel safe.
  • Stick to saying 'no,' don't try to argue or explain — their brain's logic center is offline right now.
  • You don't have to move them; stay nearby and say 'I know, you're really upset,' but don't change what you said.

What not to do:

  • Don't give in to what they want — once crying works once, they've learned it gets results.
  • Don't yell, shame them, or say 'that's embarrassing' — they don't understand shame yet, it just scares them.
  • Don't force them physically (picking them up, dragging them away) — as long as they're on the floor, they're safe.

If it lasts longer than 2 weeks, they're hurting themselves or others, or if there's breath-holding after the tantrum, talk to a neurologist.

Side note: public tantrums are incredibly relatable — everyone's been there, you're not alone. 💛

⚕️ Health note: This answer is for general information only; it is not medical advice. Every baby is different — for decisions about your baby's health, consult your pediatrician.

This answer is general — yours can be personal 🐦

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